“Where are we going to find our joy today, Baby Blue J?” “With the flowers and the birds!” My mother’s voice often wakes me from my sleep. A voice I hadn’t heard in over twenty years still makes my heart ache. But I have no time to reminisce, and I definitely don’t care about flowers or birds. I am Joshua Hayles, and I have no space for joy. I have lived under my father’s rule my entire life. I have become everything I was supposed to be—a successful attorney, a wealthy man, and, above all, pridefully strong. There is nothing I can’t handle; even as I stood as a groomsman at my ex-girlfriend’s wedding to my brother, I was unmoved. Courtney Mason’s arrival in my life was unexpected. She was not a part of my plan, nor was I a part of hers. It was something I should have ignored but couldn’t. Her smile quickened my heartbeat; her free spirit made me long for something more, and her scars made me tender—everything about her made me…..feel. I’m Joshua Hayles, and I’m too tough for this.