This book is about one person's experience growing up in a family that was heavily influenced by a narcissistic mother and violence in the household. I was born into such a family. My mother was extremely narcissistic, and she would subject me to constant verbal and physical assaults. I was born with a cleft palate, and as such I guess I was different from day one. My mother blamed me for anything and everything, in fact I was seen as the scapegoat of the family. My life was hard. Not only was I being victimized at home by my mother and extended family, I was constantly harassed and bullied at school. These were tough times and the only person I felt safe with was my Nonno. This is not a story about victimization...this is a story about one person's ability to rise above adversity. As children we learn by others, in fact we are conditioned to adopt and inherent other people's opinions which in turn lead to personal belief systems about where and how we fit into the world. These beliefs become coping strategies; subconscious beliefs about who and how we are. As a result of this, my life was not an easy one. I made decisions that were based upon my influential beliefs, poor choices that led to more misery and suffering. I ended up being married to a man who was very similar to my mother, and he was extremely abusive and violent. It wasn't until I reached out for help that I began to realize that it wasn't my fault for everything...and that I was being manipulated. I always tried to fix things and made excuses, quite often taking the blame for situations beyond my control. Fact was I never really had control...my mother saw to that. She undermined me and created in me the sense of failure and a shame-based personality. I had no power, nor did I have a voice. Once I found my own strength, I left my husband and turned away from my mother. Many times, I tried to reconcile with her, but I would not subject myself to her vindictive and abusive ways. In the end I had to let her go. My family and relatives also abandoned me unless I return to the way they wanted me to be. I wasn't going to do that. I was isolated and alone, but I was free. This is my story.

本作は、自己愛的な母の呪縛という鏡に閉じ込められた魂が、真の自己を奪還するまでの凄絶な軌跡を描いた衝撃作です。単なる被害の告白に留まらず、幼少期に植え付けられた負の信念がいかに人生を支配し、不幸の連鎖を招くかという心理的メカニズムを、震えるような筆致で抉り出しています。他者の評価を自己定義として内面化してしまう恐怖は、読む者の心に深く突き刺さります。 文芸的な白眉は、沈黙を強いられた魂が自らの声を獲得していく内面的な変容にあります。孤独と引き換えに手にした自由という結末は、あまりにも気高く、痛切なカタルシスをもたらします。自己否定の鎖を断ち切ろうとするすべての人へ捧げられた、魂の再生物語として類を見ない強度を持った一冊です。