What's Hollywood like behind the scenes? How does real life compare to reel life? Do the stars create more drama off-screen than on? Is the local social network really full of desperate housewives? How can an English writer find work? Setting up home in Los Angeles involved some real shocks, several of which registered really high on the Richter scale. Only in California would an entire school be taken outside on Halloween to dance to “Ghostbusters”. Only in LA would an 8 year-old know that the man at the carwash had three teardrops tattooed beneath his eye because he'd killed three rival gangmembers. Only in Hollywood would a woman have a sign at the end of her drive saying, “Honk if you've had me.” Only in this crazy city would they make it illegal for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. In this refreshingly frank memoir, English screenwriter Tim John reveals how his family survived their seven year adventure living and working in LA-LA land.