Kristin Williams is 38, braless by principle, overly attached to her lawn chair (RIP Brenda), and possibly on a spa watchlist. In this laugh-out-loud, margarita-soaked collection of short stories, she peels off the layers-literally-and takes you on a wild ride through her unfiltered life as a suburban nudist with zero chill and even fewer regrets. From flashing a Trader Joe's cashier to being attacked by a taco-thieving seagull named Enrique, and getting physically entangled with a nipple-forward stranger named Vicci, Kristin shows us what happens when self-acceptance, questionable decisions, and coconut oil collide. Oh-and she ends up completely naked at a wedding in Portugal. Yes, there's a fart. No, it wasn't hers. Inside this highly inappropriate and painfully honest collection, you'll learn: Why you should always test a lawn chair before sitting naked How not to eat tacos on a nude beach (hint: gravity + crema = tragedy) What happens when you exfoliate your nipples with spa cucumbers And how to clap for a bride who farts during her vows and calls it "energy release" Titties, Tacos, and Tan Lines is for anyone who's ever felt like their thighs were too loud, their friends were too chaotic, or their life was one wardrobe malfunction away from enlightenment. Warning: May cause snort-laughing, spontaneous nudity, and an urge to yell "I am too comfortable!" in public. Kristin Williams is your new favorite hot mess. And this is her naked gospel.