Christmas is supposed to be magical-but for 911 dispatchers, it can also be pure chaos. Stupid 911 Calls: The Christmas Gift Crisis takes you inside the absurd world of holiday emergencies, where missing remotes, impossible toy packaging, dry fruitcakes, melted chocolate Santas, sweater catastrophes, and gift-card disasters somehow become "urgent" police matters. Inspired by real calls and dramatized for humor, this book follows the brave dispatchers who juggle genuine emergencies alongside people who dial 911 because: their smart device "refuses to obey," their sweater is the wrong shade of beige, their parrot is mockingly repeating insults, their child didn't get the exact toy they wanted, or a single cracker is missing from a gourmet gift basket. From festive hysteria to family drama, pet chaos, sibling wars, and confused kids calling about Santa, these stories capture the wild, hilarious, and unbelievably relatable side of the holiday season. A perfect read for anyone who loves humor, real-life absurdity, and a behind-the-scenes look at the most ridiculous Christmas "emergencies" ever dialed into 911.