Ladies and gentlemen and the great majority of everyone else, what we have here is a collection of essays etched in print in the earliest days of the internet revolution when most writers hit their chairs running. Off we dashed into modernity knowing our output could now technically reach every zip code in ancient New Jersey. A certain fish on a certain fish farm in the Great Lakes region was so enervated by the explosion in instant access to all former girlfriends he did indeed hatch daily pieces for the uncivilized world to see, a few of which made it to this final iteration.