It was 5: 30 am, and I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror. The past few months had been the most devastating in my life. How could our flock that we loved so much turn their backs on us? Just as it had happened countless times before and during many sleepless nights, those old conversations and scenes began to replay over and over in my mind. Voices; harsh and accusing seemed to drown out the voice of my Father. I had spent day after day in bookstores pouring over the shelves looking for anything that would hold the key to end my pain. "Lord, why can't I find a book that will help me?" But as I stared into the mirror that dreary December morning something frightening happened. God allowed me to see my face just as He saw it: old, wrinkled, bitter and angry. I seemed to age 60 years in a single moment. I jumped back in surprise, shrieking at what I saw. Then I finally heard His voice: "My daughter, I kept you from finding it...because you are going to write it."