For centuries, scholars, poets, and confused Twitch viewers have debated one impossible question: what comes after Doug? Every library was silent on the matter. Every philosopher fell short. Humanity begged for answers. Unfortunately now. This groundbreaking new work, written by someone who is definitely not Doug, is not not a book. Inside, you will discover the word Dan repeated approximately 70,000 times, formatted with punctuation so it almost feels like literature. With a foreword written by an anonymous contributor - though their identity may be revealed by a single cryptic clue: they once lost a chess game to a pigeon. "Dan," this is the definitive response to the Doug phenomenon. Please enjoy responsibly.