Ever feel like your life is an audition you never signed up for? Imagine growing up in a household where vacuuming was a competitive sport, dishwashing felt like Hell’s Kitchen: Hygiene Edition, drawer-opening techniques that could seemingly rival a Buckingham Palace heist… and coughing? That is practically treason. Packed with dry wit and painfully relatable moments, this hilarious memoir explores what it’s like to grow up under the reign of a matriarch who holds everyone to impossible standards—except herself. Spoiler: even robots would struggle to pass her test.