Lila Leeds was born on January 28, 1928 in Dodge City, Kansas, USA as Lila Lee Wilkinson. She was an actress, known for "Wild Weed" (1949), "Moonrise" (1948), "Lady In The Lake" (1947) and bit roles in other films. While contracted to MGM she was arrested with Robert Mitchum, and others, for Marijuana. Eventually, after other incidents a judge exiled her from California for 5 years. Though she had a successful nightclub singing career, she had numerous arrests and legal problems as a result of her ongoing drug addiction. She was married and divorced four times, and eventually lost custody of her three children. Ordained a minister in 1974 she opened the S.M.I.L.E. halfway house in Hollywood, accepting residents, many of which were addicts, from both County and State. She died on September 15, 1999 in Canoga Park, California. The first 12 chapters of this book were written around 1958 in Chicago after Lila was discharged from the Levinson Rehabilitation Center, having finally kicked her latest drug addiction. A columnist urged her to write a book while events and people were still fresh. The book had anecdotes about Robert Mitchum, Howard Hughes, Orson Welles and others during her Hollywood days. However, publishers were not interested in a firsthand account of drug addiction from an ex-starlet. Lila shelved the script. We revisited the original script around 1979 and decided to add about twenty more years (1958 - 1978), which included her continuous dealing with her own and others drug addiction. As happens, daily life intervened and the next draft wasn't ready for another ten years. While last visiting me in Texas Lila reminded me of how important she felt the book was, and had me promise I would one day try to get it published. I am sorry it took so long mom. Today, with Opioid (and other drug) use an epidemic in this country, many people are now addicts deluding themselves otherwise. Besides the proliferation of illegal drugs, new or renewed drug prescriptions are handed out before the ink on the previous ones have dried. However, this book is not a Hollywood expose' or a sermon against drug use. Rather, this is my mother sharing her life experiences giving you a rare in-depth, brutally honest look at the mental, physical, and emotional aspects of her drug addiction where, as high as the highs were, the lows were always lower. Thus, this story might allow you to at least know what to expect before you begin, or as you travel down the path of your own possible drug use. Having a syringe in my arm on more than one occasion, I know the brutal honesty of this story. More importantly, this story brings to light the harsh reality of all addictions: the addicted are never in control of their lives. Their belief they are in control is merely an insidious delusion crafted by their addiction. The absolute truth is, addicts are not, nor ever will be in control of their lives as long as they are still addicted.