Take eleven of history's greatest philosophers. Put them in shirt, shorts, and boots and send them out to battle, not with their wisdom but with their feet. This volume explains the making of Western civilization in the words of the beautiful game. We learn how these massive intellects learned their stuff through football—the Bible becomes a tale of how goalkeepers can deal with crosses; existentialism is apparently the being and nothingness of a clean sheet; and the ownership of production means that your front two will have nothing to lose but their games.