Love once inspired sonnets, plays, novels, and countless romantic songs. But romance can become obsession, and nowadays, love songs are creepier than ever. Even the Police's stalker anthem "Every Breath You Take" is a popular choice at weddings and funerals. In Touch Me, I'm Sick, Tom Reynolds offers hilarious riffs on 52 love songs that have gone off the rails into the realm of the tawdry, the overwhelming, the obsessive, the self-absorbed, and the completely weird. Including songs by artists as diverse as Melissa Etheridge, Michael Jackson, Paul Anka, Sinéad O'Connor, and Slipknot, he also pillories a handful of the 1,700 different songs called "Butterfly." Praise for Tom Reynolds' I Hate Myself and Want to Die: "A tremendous idea . . . Reynolds ameliorates the pain of having put his ear up close to some of the most inconsiderate despair anthems of our time by having enormous fun deconstructing them." --The Sunday Times "Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity-pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery." --NME "An entertaining and well-researched set of cautionary tales music fans will enjoy. Consider the list a batch of enthralling liner notes for a box set that comes with razor blades." --Playboy "Bridget Jones would love it." --The Scotsman