I know what you're thinking, "What is this? Does it have any hunky, brooding vampires?" Let's be clear, this book does NOT contain... Beautiful members of the Undead searching for a nice light snack/true love. Teenage wizards battling adversaries so fearsome they must not be named. Children battling to the death in a televised spectacle. Virginal college students with soap opera names who shed their purity after meeting emotionally crippled, perverted businessmen - who happen to have billions. The Bellman Chronicles is a collection of tales featuring... TERRIBLE PEOPLE: Douchebags who think Grandma's wheelchair is a suitable substitute for a luggage cart. Crazy cougars who think the term "full-service hotel" means the security officer will sleep with you - while your husband watches. Guests who bring animals with them: a deer strapped to their RV - which they park next to the kitchen entrance of the hotel's restaurant. TERRIBLE THINGS: Getting caught daydreaming while your spouse "shares her feelings." Spilling your morning coffee. Hairless cats. So if you think your life sucks, take some of that money you were going to spend on Red Bull and smokes and read about someone who is REALLY suffering, namely yours truly. You can call me The Hook.