My brief life on Earth had been a mess. The metallic aliens had rescued me when I was trying to kill myself. But after a 400,000-year, deep-frozen move across space, and two years of relaxed student life on the moonless planet Vweialer, I was doing well. I wasn’t expecting any more surprises. Haha. Then the aliens returned, bearing a young man who was unusually interested in getting to know me. This was the beginning of an astonishing, epic journey into love and danger in lands where I might be enslaved, jailed, starved – or worshipped as a god. And through it all, I found humour and revelation – and drove ever deeper into the heart of what it means to be alien. If you decide to read my true story, I give you fair warning. You may become alien too. Seriously. Our famous author here said, “This moonless sky is the mind of someone else.” When you understand that line, it will never leave you.