This is a contemporary poetry book that delves into a dark mind space in a difficult time period of my life. Most of the poetry is my feelings or observations on how my mental illness began, evolved and how I felt people saw me and treated me .I have stuck with the one genre (which may seem self indulgent) which is how I see the world within myself rather than observing the world, this will come after this cathartic edition. I have had editors tell me this type of poetry is egotistical, but I believe these poems are what I knew and what I felt the most passion for, I would rather put out a book of not so widely received egotistical passionate poetry than more mainstream widely received poetry but lacking passion. The poems in the book have been written between 1994- 2009 (since I was 14 years old so very wide variety) and were chosen from hundreds for personal reasons. I have not done the book chronologically so you may not see me mature through the book, I felt it better to hook readers in with different insights mixed up.