"Why doesn't she leave him?' is the oft-asked question about women who live in abusive relationships but for them, the question is more "How can I leave him?" for many such women get hooked into the unreality of the dance of lies and broken promises that the abuser orchestrates. When, Ruth, the wife in a clergy couple inadvertently opens an e-mail from a friend and realizes that it is not for her but for her husband and that it explicitly anticipates a wild sexual encounter, something finally snaps and she is empowered to walk out on a thirty five year relationship which was punctuated by her husband's infidelity- always with her friends- his violence and his struggle to discover who he really is by assumed personas. "You were with him too" charts the leaving and the staying and the resolution of Ruth's concern about her own sanity. The story unfolds through narrative and through hindsight in short story form as Ruth discovers that me, myself and I' are finally one.