Why do grown adults sob at superhero movies? When did Netflix become our cathedral? How are teenagers learning ethics from Chinese algorithms? We accidentally built a religion from entertainment platforms and refuse to admit we're practicing it. This collection dissects the strangest cultural phenomenon of our time: an entire civilization unconsciously reconstructing spiritual infrastructure from streaming services, social media, and parasocial relationships with YouTubers who became prophets without noticing. Building on the meaning-making framework from God's Disassembly Line, these essays map our digital spiritual landscape. Marvel provides mythology. Binge-watching creates ritual. True crime podcasts function as morality plays. Gaming offers initiation through structured suffering. Platform choice determines denominational affiliation. The investigation reveals uncomfortable truths: LinkedIn users practicing prosperity gospel through networking. Instagram influencers performing financial ruin as lifestyle aspiration. Twitter bots propagandizing to themselves. TikTok teaching sexualized performance as spiritual practice. Millions receiving better guidance from recommendation algorithms than actual spiritual directors. We've created meaning-making systems from materials designed to extract attention for corporate profit. We seek authentic community through artificial platforms. We practice spirituality through consumption while insisting we're "just being entertained." This isn't self-help promising digital detox or manifesto demanding return to tradition. It's anthropological field notes from inside the contradiction, written by someone equally trapped in the systems he's analyzing. No solutions offered. No philosophy promoted. Just intellectual debris from the collapse of institutions that were never designed for the spiritual functions they accidentally inherited. We built churches from entertainment platforms while refusing to call them churches. This is what worship looks like when nobody admits they're worshipping. Consider yourself warned: consciousness examining its own contradictions remains trapped within those contradictions. The investigation continues because it must.