(NB: Sexually explicit.) Funny, filthy, heartbreaking. Tom Cartwright and his friend and fag-hag, Helen Greenhaulgh, work at a university in Newcastle. Jaded enemies of romance, they enjoy exploiting their students more than doing their jobs. When a young piece of jailbait arrives on the scene, Tom initially feels a paternalistic desire ro ccare for him. As their relationship develops, however, they all learn, in their own ways, that love hurts but sex sells.