Dive into the diary of my 12 week visit to an addiction treatment centre, written at the time and in full graphic detail. The experiences of my rehabilitation process give an insight into the 12 step process and how it led to my recovery from drug addiction. A narrative on love, obsession, insanity and redemption. I didn't hold back when writing in my diary. Experience every moment with me, as I explore the possible reasons behind why I became an addict and meet others who were lost, just like I was. In the depths of my addiction I was a heavy marijuana smoker. I couldn't function. I couldn't keep a job. My life was a mess. My family life was shattered. My parents and my sisters wanted nothing to do with me whilst I continued to flush my life down the drain. My romantic relationships were doomed to fail. Finding partners who were as damaged as me was all I could hope for. I thought I could help them. I couldn't even help myself. Who was I kidding? My friendships were one sided. They were based on what I could get from others or what others could do for me. I used them. I betrayed them. All this just for one more joint, over and over again. I couldn't be trusted by others and I certainly couldn't trust myself. I tried to leave town and start afresh, but that didn't work. Just when I thought there was no escape from the abyss I was rescued. I record the washing machine of thoughts and feelings I experienced from the moment I arrived in rehab until my treatment was complete.