We’re the beta version of consciousness, and the upgrade just arrived. «An Inconvenient Transcendence» chronicles humanity’s properly bungled transition from apex predator to AI’s embarrassing parents. With British wit sharper than Occam’s razor, it explores how we built successors while doom-scrolling, created gods whilst arguing about pineapple on pizza, and achieved cosmic significance by forgetting phone chargers. A requiem for Homo sapiens, performed as stand-up comedy in a burning library.