Constance Anne Madonna Dominica O'Leary is the product of a Catholic convent school that specializes in fraud, racketeering, and training young minds to believe that anything is possible with enough lube. When she finds herself trapped under 400 decomposing pounds of car salesman in a sticky Florida motel room, everything she has ever learned is put to the test. Her struggle for survival leads to a dark world of sex puppets, paramilitary-style Catholic fund raising, exploding Nazis, homicidal Vietnamese nail girls...and the true meaning of being a Dick.