if it didn't make you laugh. MYSTERY OF MA'S UGLY PICKLE is the adventures of a fatherless Polish boy growing up during the Great Depression with a fanatically religious mother. At a tender young age and wrestling with his developing male desires, Michael learns about a skeleton and its killer. Many years later, having been diagnosed with cancer, he felt compelled to divulge his lifelong secret. Realizing there is no statute of limitations on murder, Michael never comes out and says where the story takes place but instead, laces his narrative with clues to the city and it's locally famous Cold Case. Consider that your first clue. When human bones turn up in a makeshift grave across the street from Michael's home, a renowned detective, Herr Rudolph Von Krueger, a.k.a. the Bulldog, arrives to take over the investigation. The suspects are numerous, but the clue that breaks the case is uncovered by of all things, an enormous rat making its home in the family fruit cellar.