The millennium is right around the corner and Lana, a baby-booming debutante, still hasn't found herself. She's fed up test-driving careers and relationships and is ready to try anything to get some real answers. With Old Man Time nipping at her heels, Lana gets into gear and goes on a nothing-to-lose quest to battle the family and cultural myths that hinder her spirit and prevent her from making her fairy tale dreams come true. Lana forges through the Internet wilderness and carves out an identity that cuts through untold bouts of romantic quackery. In her zany escapades she imagines wearing out men like "dirty socks"-- "Lana Lana Copa Cabana How does your garden grow With lots of love and little time And men lined all in a row" From the suffering-prone Annika, her emotional anchor--to Mitchell, who just discovered phone sex at 78--and Kril, who's just taken his third girlfriend in for a boob job--Lana's bizarre friends will keep you spilling out of your seat with laughter. Little does Lana know, the keys to the universe are right at her fingertips.