The Minion

Imagine a couple of children having a film crew for making their games into a movie. That's the level of script you can expect, and everything else is... well, people got paid for it. It's one of these movies where the first minute tells you all you can expect. (No-one in their right mind would carry a load with dangling stuff for hours. You'd fasten the things somehow, since dangling wastes your strength.) Watch the first minute, and if you still feel like it... hope your preferred kind of drug lasts until this is over!